Retain Your Receipt…
by Nuttyginger
Summary: awakes from her coma, not remembering a thing. Will Angel and Wesley be able to piece her life back together and will she be strong enough to repay the favour?
1. And Wide Awake

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Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and Dunstaffnage is in homage to the amazing week we spent in Oban…you know who you are.

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Summary: Cordelia awakes from her coma, not remembering a thing. Will Angel and Wesley be able to piece her life back together and will she be strong enough to repay the favour?

Retain Your Receipt…

The grey colour was now turning white as Cordelia struggled to open her eyes. They wouldn't open. Her heart began to race. She tried to move her arms. They felt heavy and stiff, with various tubes coming off. Cordelia clawed at her eyes trying to free what ever held them closed. As the tape came free her eyes flew open but quickly shut again. The light burned them, so used to the dark. She gingerly opened them, allowing them to become accustom to the bright lights. Cordelia took in her new surroundings; the room was white, not just minimal white but clinical white. She was lying in a bed made for stainless steel, with bars on each side to stop her falling out. Around her machines beeped regularly, leaving a mechanical trace behind them. There was a drip to her side delivering a turbid liquid into her arm.

It hit her where she was. The hospital bed groaned as Cordelia struggled to sit up, obviously not used to the movement. A young man in a white coat came running into the room, a look of surprise and pure horror on his face. 

"Mi…Miss Chase! Your awake!" Cordelia just stared at him. "Mr Angel will want to know you're awake."

It was Cordelia's turn to look horrified. Angel knew she was here, like this. Why wasn't he here by her side? She had to grab the retreating doctors sleeve. He turned to face her, more horror on his face. Cordelia tried to shout at him to stop but her throat choked her. She shook her head rapidly in the hope he would understand her desperate actions. The doctors face softened and he handed her a glass of water with a straw. Cordelia drunk hungrily from the cup.

"Where am I?" Cordelia asked, her voice hoarse from disuse. 

"You are in Dunstaffnage Medical Centre in LA. Wolfram and Hart brought you here 6 months ago." He seen Cordelia's eyes widened in pure horror. "Mr Angel told us to contact him when your condition changed."

"Angel and Wolfram And Hart are working together? Angel let them put me here? Where is he?"

"His office is in the Wolfram and Hart building in the centre of LA! Now I must go and get Doctor Thomson and phone Mr Angel.!"

"No!" Cordelia half cried. "Don't phone Angel, please. Don't leave me. Tell, me why am I here? What happened to me?"

The doctor shifted nervously from foot to foot. "I'm Doctor Derek Robson. You came here 6 months ago after the battle in LA You gave birth to a… girl, she was called Jasmine, and you lapsed into a coma for 6 months until you woke up…about 10 minutes ago."

Cordelia sat, stunned. Babies, battles, coma's. What had caused all this?

"I really should called Mr. Angel."

Cordelia regained her senses. "No, I don't want Angel to know."

"But, but he'll fire me." A pause and a gulp. "or worse."

"Listen here buster, what happened to patient confidentiality? I don't want Angel to know I'm awake. Not just now. Now bring me some clothes, I don't want to be walking around in LA in my PJ's." 

The doctor stood and looked at her for a few second before Cordelia raised her eyebrow and he scuttled away. Cordelia swung her legs over the side of the bed and lowered herself to the ground. The tiles felt cold against the balls of her feet as they touched lightly on the floor. Her legs seemed ready to take her weight so she let go of the rails along her bed and held her breath. For a few seconds she wavered where she stood and then she fell, crying out as she tumbled helplessly to the cold, hard, floor. Her shout brought Dr. Derek running through to the room clutching women's clothes to his chest. He put the clothes on the bed and helped Cordelia to her feet. 

"What's wrong with me? Am I paralysed?"

Dr. Robson sighed. "No, you've been asleep for 6 months, your muscles haven't been used in a while and need to be strengthened up. Here, sit down."

Cordelia sat on the bed, her legs hanging over the edge. He began to move her legs up and down, circulating her muscles and bones. The colour slowly seeped into her legs, from the deathly pale of before to a pinker skin tone that hadn't seen the sun in a while. Derek helped her to her feet, slowly walking her around the room with his arm as support. Once he was sure she would be able to stand on her own he left her to get dressed. He found her strangely pleasant, nothing like the woman he thought would be. The woman in the bed, 50m from him, had given birth to a killer, a killer that had tried to take over their dimension. In fact she didn't seem to remember a single thing. He felt a stab of pity for her, one day the memories would come back and haunt her. He hoped she was strong enough to live with the things she did, or the thing that had taken over her had did. He was in two minds whether to call Mr Angel but he decided against it. Derek wasn't sure of the Vampire or man could change his morals to work for Wolfram and Hart so quickly. He wondered through to Cordelia's room to find her staring at the mirror. 

"My hair grew huh? Still got my streaks thought." She played with the hair that now sat neatly on her shoulders. "And my manicured nails. Who is paying for all this?"

Derek shifted from one foot to the other. "Wolfram and Hart ma'am. Lilah set it up and Mr Angel provides the finances."

"Wolfram and Hart! Wolfram and Hart!" Cordelia shouted. "Wolfram and Hart, as in the evil law firm that would do anything to destroy Angel and Angel Investigations, Wolfram and Hart?"

"Angel Investigations now runs the LA branch of Wolfram and Hart. It was given to them after Jasmine died." He saw her face whiten and realised he had made a huge mistake. 

"Jasmine, as in the baby I carried and gave birth to is dead." She covered her face with her hands and let the tears fall free. "My baby is dead."

Derek sat Cordelia down and explained t her who Jasmine was, what she represented and what happened when she died.

"So if I carried this being, who was the father?" She drew in a sharp breath. "Oh god, not Angel?"

"No Miss Chase, Mr Angel is in firm control of his soul. After Jasmine died, Wolfram and Hart decided that if you can't beat them, join them. They asked Angel Investigations if they wanted to take up it's office here in LA. They use the resources mainly for good, in the name of the Powers and all that."

Cordelia eyed him warily. "How do you know all this?"

He shrugged. "Word get around the office and the LA demon population. We specialise in demon medicine. You do remember your half demon right?"

Cordelia nodded. "Does Wesley Wyindom-Price still work for Angel?"

"Wes? Yeah, we see him up here all the time. When get an unusual demon in for treatment or looking for demon cures. He's also been here to see you a few times."

"Does Angel?" Cordelia asked tentatively.

Derek looked to the ground. "No, but he's real busy and I bet it would hurt you to come and see a friend in a coma knowing you can't help them."

"Well I better go and see Wes, unless… Does Angel work in the Wolfram and Hart building?"

"Yes, of course, he is the Managing Director."

Cordelia began to pace. "OK, I'll write a note and you can take it." Derek shook his head. "Right a courier can take it. I'll get him to meet me at the Hypirion. It is still standing isn't it?"

"Yes why?" Derek asked, becoming more comfortable in her company.

"It's just that Angel Investigations has a habit of getting it's offices blown up!"

He watched as Cordelia scribbled down a note and folded it in 4. She handed it to him. "Now I need transport. Do you have a car?" Derek nodded. "Great, you can take me into the city and to the hotel."

"Yeah, but why don't you want to see Mr. Angel?" Derek couldn't suppress his curiosity any longer. 

"Imagine you date the cutest girl in the office and then you do something really embarrassing like spill red wine on her new and expensive cream silk dress. The last thing you wanna do is go into work the next day and face said girl! I'm not ready to see Angel yet, not after what I did. Wes, now Wes will understand. He's done stupid things and we forgave him, I hope he'll forgive me too." Now are we gonna get going?"

Derek nodded, feeling like he was starting out on an adventure 


	2. Lost Times

**__**

Lost Times

I'm not sure how they done the whole memory sweep about Conner but I made it up as I went along. 

I've also wanted a Cordy/Wes bonding moment for ages and this was it.

They sat in silence, punctuated by the radio, as they made their way into LA city centre. Derek had scanned her letter for her and sent it via email to Wesley. It was quicker than courier and hopefully Wesley would be waiting for them at the hotel when they got there. He looked at the young lady sitting beside him. It was hard for him to imagine that Cordelia could have been a part of trying to bring the world to it's knees. She seemed so innocent and too concerned for others. There had been rumours of possession and now that he had spoken to her it seemed more plausible than Cordelia herself being responsible. He was also puzzled how she had woken up at all. Her brain wave activity had shown permanent vegetation with no chance of recovery, yet here she was sitting right beside him, very much awake and alert. His brow furrowed as he wondered what she was thinking and what had caused the stray tear that now slipped silently down her cheek. "Are you ok?"

She turned to look at him with horror and terror in her eyes. "I think I'm remembering. Oh my god, what have I done?"

"We don't think it was you. We think you were taken over by another demon. Your demon side couldn't fight him; he was too strong. We are not sure why he chose you but prophecies mention the birth of a being that was never meant to be. I think their still working on that one. Nothing you did or said was under your control."

"How do you know all this?" Cordelia asked in wonder. 

He looked away sheepishly. "I was interested in you, your case I mean, so I asked for your complete file. It's a whole 2 filing cases long. I started at the end and worked my way back. Your high school graduation seemed a hoot. Was your mayor really a snake demon?"

"Yeah." Cordelia chuckled. "High school was a real battle for survival." Her faced turned white, her eyes blank. All the people I've hurt, I went against very thing that I was meant to believe in. I'm a Higher Being, I'm meant to be all things good, moral and near godly. They must really hate me around now. Angel, Fred, Gunn and Wesley. Not to mention the Powers That Be." She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to look at Derek. He was giving her 'It's OK' look and she smiled slightly. She hoped Wesley had her note by now.

Even if he got her note, would he come? After what she had done, killing Lilah. No matter what she said, she realised that she would live in regret for her actions over the past year. After everything that she had been through, since Buffy Summers had walked into her life, had made her accept things at face value. She had seen people die, people close to her. She had feared for her life more times than she cared to count anymore. All this had happened but she had taken the one thing she held valued above everything else; a human life. No matter how evil that life had been she had no right to take it away. 

A tap on her shoulder again brought her out of her ravine. "We're here. It's looking a little run down but it's still habitable."

"Thank-you Derek. I don't know what to say, just promise me that you won't tell Angel I'm here. I wanna do that myself."

Derek seemed to hesitate but suddenly pulled her into a soft hug. "I promise. Hey, if it helps, you don't strike me as a person out to destroy the world."

Cordelia smiled at him and stepped, blinking, into the sun. The Hyperion _was _looking a little run down but the building was still a comfort to her. She noted the nice black Benz sitting outside the door to the hotel. Looked like Wesley had got her note after all. With a deep breath she walked back into the shade from doorway of the former base of Angel Investigations.

The figure of a tall, slim man was standing in what was the lobby of the great entrance to the hotel. He was casually dressed in dark slack and a beige jacket. His hair shimmered slightly with small hairs of gray. Cordelia walked quietly in, wanting to have a look at the man in front of her before she had to face him head on.

"Wesley." She said simply. 

The man turned on his heels and stared at her. It was her Wesley all right but this one seemed aged around the face and his eyes still slightly dark. The advanced facial hair suited him, gave him the edge he had lacked in Sunnydale. He didn't smile at first as if unsure of what was proper etiquette in this circumstance.

"Cordelia?" He took a small step forward. "Cordelia, I can't bel…" He didn't finish his sentence as he ran towards her, circling her in his arms. 

"Wes, really need to breathe here." She hugged him even tighter back. "It's so good to see you, It just isn't funny."

They stepped apart and stared in wonder at each other. "We should talk huh?" 

Wesley walked them over to a couch and pulled the dustsheet off. It was the big comfy couch they would all pile onto after a successful mission. They sat down at either end. "Oh Wesley, I'm so, so sorry for what I did to Lilah. I literally didn't know what I was doing. I wouldn't have done it, I couldn't have…" Cordelia trailed off as the tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. 

Wesley placed a brotherly arm around her shoulders and drew her closer. "We all knew it wasn't you. Something took over your body, something evil. Do you… do you remember anything?"

"I didn't at first but it all started coming back to me in the car over here. It was like I was there but not in control of what was going on. I tried to stop it but it kept beating me back. It was kinda like Angel with Angelus. Two different things but with the same face. I tried so hard to stop what it was doing. Oh and Jasmine…" The tears fell. "Lilah as well…" The flood gates had opened and there was no stopping them.

Wesley felt his heart break as the young woman in front of him cried into his shoulder. He could feel the sobs as they racked through her body. They, as a family, had, had months to deal with Cordelia's demon betrayal yet she had, had a few hours. She had the guilt and horror of it all in her memories and the realisation she couldn't so a thing to stop it. He muttered soothing words into her ear and felt her sobs calm.

"Why are you so understanding Wesley? I mean I hurt you all, Gunn, Lorne, Fred and Angel. I bet they all hate me."

"We all know what happened to you, the real story. There was nothing at all you could have done. After you gave…went into a coma, the story came out and we've had time to deal with it. Speaking of Angel. Has he been informed of your awakening?"

"No, I begged Derek, the doctor who was there when I woke up, not to tell Angel. I'm not ready to face him yet. I mean how do I tell him I slept with someone else, who I don't remember but I slept with someone else. I don't think it was any big secret but I loved Angel. I know he loved me some level, not the whole "Buffy, I'll Give You Forever" kinda love but there was something. Do you know who the father of Jasmine was?"

Wesley looked at her perplexed. "No, no one seems to know and if you don't know, maybe it was some twisted sort of Immaculate Conception. So you know about Wolfram and Hart then."

Cordelia nodded. "Derek told me. I'll except many things Wes, but not this, never this. I can't believe you all switched sides, after all we set up. Their evil lawyers that tried to kill all of us, they hated Angel. Why would Angel work for them, or any of us for that matter?" She scooted away from Wesley's touch.

"Ah, yes. " Wesley muttered, his English primness appearing again. "They…We reached a cease-fire, a peace treaty you might say. Wolfram and Hart took the attitude of if you can't beat them, give them the company, well the Los Angeles branch. We have so many resources and the equipment that they possess is amazing. It's like Pro Bono with a twist. We still deal in demons and evil except now we compromise with them. It seems to be working." Cordelia phhfted. "It really is. I must admit it isn't as hands on, Gunn's a lawyer now, Fred get to do some serious work in the kited out physics lab. Wolfram and Hart had all the patents the US Patents office had! We have armored vehicles and great medical care. It's different."

"How do you know who to help?" Cordelia asked.

"Oh, Wolfram and Hart have a pool Seer's, kinda like secretaries. We get tip offs and contacts in the demon world."

Cordelia looked down at her feet. "Hate to sound all self-centered but I've been replaced."

Wesley smiled softly at her. "No-one could ever replace you Cordelia, you're unique. We all miss you. You were the heart, we've all fragmented, all in different departments. We need you there to bind us back together again. You are staying around aren't you." Wesley was ready for heart breaking news.

"I'll be here for a while anyway. Don't have anywhere to stay though. Don't suppose…"

"Of course you can stay with me. I have an apartment downtown now. Spare bedroom. All of your things are in storage. Things were tight after you ascended, we had to let your apartment go but we still have Dennis. Good old Fred. Now I have to go as we have a board meeting but we'll stop at my apartment first and you can settle in on your own. Do you want to tell Angel or anyone yet?"

Horror filled Cordelia's face again. "No, Not yet. Maybe tomorrow. I need to think about this."

Wesley helped her to her feet. "I'll have some of your stuff sent over."

They walked out of the hotel and Wesley locked the door behind them. Cordelia could hear him fall into step beside her. She looked up to find him smiling fondly at her.

"What?" She laughed gently.

"It's so good to have you back." She smiled back and they climbed into the waiting Benz.


	3. Tripping Down Memory Lane

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Kinda took the Dawns appearance in photos to explain Conner's absence in Cordelias.

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Previously: Cordelia has came around and has started to remember what happened before she went into her coma. The only person she turned to was Wesley, seeking forgiveness and answers.

**__**

Tripping Down Memory Lane

"Yes, that's right. I would like all of Miss Chases' belongings to be sent to my apartment." He listened further into the receiver. "Yes, anytime tonight will be fine." Wesley looked up as someone entered his office. He covered the microphone on the telephone. "Hello Gunn." Wesley nodded again. "Thank-You for all your help." He replaced the receiver. "What's wrong Gunn?"

"Nothing, thought I would just remind you of the meeting. Who was on the phone?" Gunn sat in the corner seat.

"No one. Just a supplier about some texts I wanted sent over from England." He lied. "Right, I'm ready."

They walked in silence along the corridor with everyone smiling and nodding to them as they passed. When they reached the Boardroom, everyone was waiting for them. Angel's head rose as Wesley walked into the room, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Wesley. Have you been to visit Cordelia recently?"

Wesley covered his surprise well. "Yes, yesterday, to try an new spell. I'm afraid to say, it didn't work but I am still trying." 

Angel stared at him briefly before apparently letting it slide. "OK, there's a lot to discuss…"

Cordelia allowed the doorman to escort her up to Wesley's penthouse apartment. He handed her a spare key and left her to make her own way in. Cordelia wasn't sure what she expected when she opened the front door to the apartment but what she saw wasn't what she anticipated. The front room was sunny and airy, a beautiful buttermilk on the wall. There were lots of photos. Some of people from his past, a photo of Faith and Buffy together, but when it was taken she wasn't sure. There were also photos of the A.I group; one of the night of the ballet, Angel looking handsome and Wesley behind the camera. One was of Fred in a lab, the one at Wolfram and Hart she guessed. The last one she came to was the one that filled her heart with joy. It was a photo of just her and Wes in the park when they went to get ice cream. Gunn took it, about 3 weeks after Angel had sacked them. Her stomach grumbled reminding her that she hadn't eaten in 6 months. She passed by an office in her search for the kitchen. On his desk sat a memo, from Harmony. Cordelia stifled a laugh. Maybe it shouldn't surprise her that Harmony had found a place in the evil law firm. 

The kitchen was surprising well stocked. Wesley didn't seem a big fan of cooking but then again that could also have changed, she didn't know. After preparing an omelette, she sat down in the living room and contemplated what her next move should be. Angel would find out soon enough that Cordelia was no longer in a coma and wasn't even at the hospital any more. He would come looking for her, maybe, and she didn't want to have to put Wesley through the ordeal of lying to his friend. 

Angel sprung to her mind, as she thought he would. Times flashed through her head of when Angel had always been there for her. The time he had been sitting by her bed, waiting for her to wake up from Skip's journey. He had held her hand so tight she could almost feel it through her consciousness. The look on his face when the never ending visions had left her head, when the demon had cursed her. He had always been there when she woke up, except this time. Had what she done really be that bad?

She sat there thinking of Angel until it went dark and the ringing of the doorbell brought her out of dream world. Cordelia wiped the tear away from her cheek and made for the door. She peeked through the peephole to see a well-built man with a clipboard. 

"Miss Chase? We're Vorex, the storage company. Mr. Wyndham-Price asked us to bring your items to you. If you could just sign here and we'll start moving it in."

Cordelia scribbled on the delivery note and the boxes started to appear. "How many boxes are there?"

"Only 5, about the size of a tea chest."

Cordelia nodded dutiful. Her entire life packed into 5 tea chests. She wondered who had packed her things up, if they had gone through everything or if the movers had. The boxes were stacked for her in the spare room and left for her to unpack. It brought back the terrible memories of when she had unpacked on arriving in LA. It was only one bag and that had made her cry even more. Most of her old clothes had been sold and so had most of her belongings. The first crate she opened contained her photos. She smiled at the pictures that had charted her life. There were ones of Xander, them together and then the ones of Angel Investigations. They were smiling in the pictures, most of them just randomly shot. That was how it meant to be; smiles and laughter. Cordelia studied some of the pictures of her and Angel, most of them looked like he was cradling something and she was looking down at his arms, but there was nothing there. They were peculiar pictures. She ran her fingers over the picture of Angel and herself just before they went to the ballet. They were smiling at each other, happy, caught unawares. A tear trickled down her cheek. The sound of keys in the door distracted her.

"Cordelia? I'm home." Wesley called out as he entered the flat. He seen the delivery note on the coffee table in the living room and headed for the spare room. "I see you got your things from…" He saw the tears on her cheek. "Heavens Cordelia, what's wrong?" He saw the picture in her hand and put a comforting arm on her shoulders.

"Do you ever think that we'll be that happy again?"

Wesley considered her question. "To be honest Cordelia, I don't really know. So much has happened to us all and I think the decision to move Wolfram and Hart may bring us all back together again as a team."

"Or break us. I'm still trying to understand the whole Lets-Join-The-Enemy. Has Angel taken to it OK. You know how our 250+ year old Vampire hates change."

"They have excellent resources though Cordelia, we can help so many people en-mass."

"Answer the question Wes. Is Angel OK?"

Wesley ran his finger around his collar in discomfort. "He hasn't been OK since you went into a coma. So it would be hard to tell if it was the change to Wolfram and Hart or you missing from our lives that has made him the way he is."

"How is he?"

"Angel has changed in attitude. He is regressed into his Sunnydale persona. Broody, less approachable, especially since the day we signed on the Wolfram and Hart. Something seems to be missing from him. You know when you lose your keys down a drain, you know that you aren't going to get them back but you still keep looking at the drain every time you pass it, just in case."

"Way to go with the analogy Wes. Why didn't he come and visit me? When I was in that hospital?"

Wesley couldn't look her in the face. "It was too painful Cordelia. He loved you and to see you in that state without being able to do something crushed him. He saw you before they took you to Dunstaffnage and he came back harrowed and sat in the dark for 3 days. He knew you were being well looked after and he received reports on you every week. We really didn't have much hope for your condition."

She simply nodded. "I think I'll go and see him tomorrow. When would be the best time? Does he sleep at Wolfram and Hart? Does he still patrol or does he had goons now to do that for him."

"He has an apartment not far from here and he still patrols at night. He'll be in the office at sunset tomorrow. We have an important contract signing at mid-night. He'll be in to finalise the details. Are you sure you're ready?"

"I have to see him at some point and I don't want you to have to lie to him. Eventually he'll find out that I've left the hospital. Will you come with me? I mean just to his office. I don't know how I feel about going into that building alone."

He smiled and pulled her up from the floor. "Of course I will."

"Thank-you Wes. What would I have done without you? Never thought we'd be here like this."

"Fate moves in very funny ways, and not in a ha ha sense."

They walked off to the kitchen, clattering dishes, as Cordelia's first real meal in 6 months was prepared.

****

Next Morning

Cordelia stood in front of the mirrored wardrobes, agonising over what to wear. She wanted to make an impression but not look as if she made an effort. She wasn't that person anymore, she didn't need to hide behind her looks. She settled for a cornflower blue camisole set with a pair of back ¾ length trousers and a pair of black slip-ons. Wesley check that she was ready to go and they headed for the car pool. 

They arrived at Wolfram and Hart as the sun started to descended in sky, creating an indigo glow over the clouds that had started to gather. The guards on the door nodded respectively to Wesley as they passed through the security door in the underground parking lot. Cordelia slid her hand into Wesley's and he gave it a tight squeeze in support. The door of the lift opened on the management floor and they stepped out onto a plush carpeted corridor. They walked hand in hand to outside Angel's office. Harmony had gone somewhere leaving Angel's office interrupt-free. Wesley hugged her and slipped silently away. Cordelia raised her hand to knock on the door, hesitating slightly before knocking hard on the wood. A gruff voice requested her to enter. She opened the door, her former boss's standing at the window as the sunset, passing a sad shadow across his face.

"Hello Angel."


	4. Do I Stay Or Do I Go?

Perviously in Retain Your Receipt - Cordelia has woken from her coma and is on the search for the Angel she used to know. With the help of Wesley she found a way to help the defunked Vampire.

Angel smiled a little, the filtered setting sun warming his cold face. He had heard her whisper to him many time since she had gone. Her silky tone soothing his tortured soul. This time seemed so real. His senses picked up a familiar smell, long since remembered. That was new. He turned slightly towards the door, his eyes widening as her tall, slim figure filled his view. Angel went to step forward but recoiled, a frown on his brow. He seemed to study her, Cordelia smiling patiently. The smile on his face widened further and he rushed forward into the home that was her arms. They tightened around him, enclosing him in their warm comfort. Cordelia rested her head in the crock of his shoulder, where she always seemed to fit so well. Light hands caressed her back, enjoying the feel of his firm press on her skin. He couldn't tell if she was real or this was a dream but for right then and there he didn't care. He had imagined this moment for too long and too often not to hold on to it. They pulled apart slowly, neither wanting to give up the embrace.

Angel tried to open his mouth to speak but nothing came out in sense. Too many questions, too many answers he wanted but he didn't want to spoil this just in case she evaporated before his eyes.

"Where…what…when…how." Angel forced out and Cordelia smiled sympathetically back at him.

"I'm awake. I got an offer I couldn't refuse and took it." She took his hands in hers. "I'm back for as long as you need me and I know you need me. Just look at where we're standing!"

Angel looked deep into her eyes and saw the disappointment in them. He had sold out and he knew it but so did Cordelia.

"I…I had to." He sat her down on the seat in front of the desk and moved his around to join her. "I had caused so much hurt and joining Wolfram and Hart was my only way of putting things right. You needed 24 hour care and somewhere secure to make sure that you got the best possible care. Angel Investigations didn't have that kind of money. I owed it to everyone…"

"Except yourself. Angel, you always put other people before you. Are you trying to make yourself less worthless than everyone else?" The withering look confirmed her fears. " Well don't! You are worth hundreds of these vision-inducing, office-destroying, child-selling lawyers."

Angel shifted uncomfortably. Nobody knew him better than Cordelia. "So who am I if I'm not this?"

Cordelia let out a sigh of acceptance. "That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. It made you more human than anyone I know."

"You truly believe that?" Angel asked, astonished by her speech.

"Yeah I do Angel. You think that just 'cos Angelus committed horrific crimes you have to pay. Well you don't! You're no worse than me. I've done some horrific things too…" She put her hand up as Angel tried to interrupt. "…but I'm still a Higher Power. You're still a warrior. You really think that the Powers That Be would trust the world to the hands of a monster like Angelus. I know it's about balance but that's just dumb. I'm gonna stay here until you wake up and smell the truth."

I'll never light up your eyes the way they should

But I'd stay for you, I'd go right through

I'd be here close, when you need me the most.

If You Asked - Longview

Angel hung his head sheepishly. "We are the same thing. Angelus and I. I am Angelus."

Cordelia slammed her fist down on the table in frustration. "Damn Angel. You told me that the thing that bothered you the most about you and Buffy's relationship was that she couldn't separate you from Angelus. Don't you start doing the same." Angel looked away. "You know what? Come on."

Cordelia took Angel by that hand and led him out of the office, her demon strength still there. Confused faces watched as their boss was frog-marched into the lift by a thin, determined woman. She pressed the button for the car pool and tapped her foot impatiently as the lift descended. As they exited the lift, a man beside them sprang up.

"What car will it be today Mr Angel?"

Angel looked at Cordelia, a smile across her fish. "Something sun-proof for the vampire, just in case, and something, um, sporty for me."

"Know just the one. Just fresh out of the garage."

The valet disappeared and returned 5 minutes later with a black, soft top car that looked like it could purr on rails. The valet threw the keys in Angel's direction but they were intercepted by Cordelia.

"6 months in a coma,I get to drive." She flashed Angel one of her 100 watt smiles and his knees nearly buckled.

They raced through the streets of LA, the traffic thinned by the escape for the weekend. Cordelia appeared to know where she was going but Angel had no idea. Eventually the car slowed to a stop outside a typically suburban house. Again Cordelia took him by the hand, this time gently, and lead him to the window of the house in front of him. Inside a small child lay on the floor in front of an open fire while it's mother blew raspberries on it's stomach. The child was in fits of giggles, arms raised above it's head in surrender but still screaming for more. The child slowly quietened as exhaustion claimed the giggles and the mother then cradled the child in her arms. They stayed 10 minutes longer as the child fell asleep. Angel turned away, a pang ran though his heart so hard he thought it would break. Why was Cordelia showing him this? Did she remember Conner? Did she want to show him what he had missed? He turned around as a soft hand lay on his shoulder. He fell into her smile.

"Do you know who they are?" Angel stared blankly at her. "That is the pregnant woman you defended after you killed her warrior. She gave birth to a baby boy. He'll grow up to do great things. If you hadn't saved **her**, stood up for **her**, fought for **her**, she would be dead and the world would be a worse place, trust me, I've seen it." She tapped the side of her head. "You see, you do make a difference."

He ran his hand over the back of his neck. "If I hadn't killed her warrior then she would never have had to fear for her life. I just went in there all gunhoe."

"Angel, Fate is mysterious. She moves in weird ways. Either way her warrior would have died but then so would have the woman. You killed him and took on his responsibilities. You could have walked away but you decided to make a difference. Maybe you don't see it but the people we help, funnily enough, do and that's what counts. Sometimes I wonder how a vampire as old as you can still be so dense." She smiled softly to him. "Now I know Lorne works for you but does he still have a club where demons sing Patsy Cline and serve the best Sea Breezes on the Western Seaboard?"

Angel simply smiled at her and took her by the hand, guiding her to the car. For a moment they stood by the passenger door, merely happy to be there, with each other.

"How did I cope when you weren't here?" Angel whispered in her ear.

"You survived."

Neither said a word as the car sped back towards the city centre, traffic still non-existant. Cordelia concentrated hard on the road not wanting to think, to realise it was all pointless. No matter what they said tonight, it would all be in vain. She had seen what was to come and she wasn't a part of it. The Powers brought her back of one reason and now she was just about done. She would have to leave, walk away from him and that was a fate worse than death itself. Regret, pity and a maze of other emotions ran through her head as the lights blurred ahead of her. It wasn't her decision to make but then again it wouldn't be the first time she had gone against the Powers. Her curse that time was the Beast, what else could they do to her that was worse? Kill her? Horror filled her. She had seen what Angel had gone through when Buffy had died. He would feel her death, granted not as badly but to lose anyone twice would send him back into the spiral she was sent to stop. No she would have to leave.

Soon than she realised they were back at Wolfram and Hart. Reluctantly Cordelia stepped out of the car, not following as Angel made to walk into the building.

"Cordelia? What's wrong?"

"This. This wrong. No matter how much I told myself not to get attached, it happened. I know it's stupid but it happened and it makes it harder to say…"

Cordelia couldn't say anymore as Angel placed a finger over her lips to silence her. He was smiling. "Don't you get it? I love you. There I said it. Yes the 250 year old vampire loves you. I would have told you the day we were meant to me at the lookout point but that never happened. How do you feel?" Angel asked, almost in a whisper.

Cordelia hung her head down. "I have to go Angel. This isn't my destiny anymore. I've fought the good fight and I think we've done a good job, just there still so many people to help. Too much has passed between us, it would be like walking on eggshells all the time and we can't live like that. We'd end up fighting, we always do and I don't know if I could walk away again."

"Then stay." Angel pleaded.

Cordelia shook her head. "What is there to stay for?"

Angel lifted her chin then took her hands lightly in his as the sun slowly rose through the window to the side of them. "Stay for me."

Cordelia looked up at him slowly, a light smile on her face. "OK."

With two little letters the most tragic love story since Romeo and Juliet turned into a blissful joining of two warriors…Kyrumption.

FIN

The last bit was a tribute to the character that was Winnifred Burkle.


End file.
